Subtract THIS!

A math professor from my college punched the University of Minnesota mascot in the face. Awesome. I cannot even type those words without laughing. A MATH PROFESSOR.

The story, too, is written like the reporter was shaking to hold in the laughter.

""Honestly, we thought it was funny at the time," said Barry Colthorpe, who watched the bleacher knock-down unfold as he sat with his wife. "I know it shouldn't be funny that someone got punched, but the fact that it was a mascot, it was an unreal situation. But you can't go around punching people even if it's a mascot."
and

"Goldy put up his hands, err, paws. "He was shocked," Elder said. "Then the guy stands over him and punches him again."
Goldy hustled out because "Goldy doesn't fight," Elder said."

and

 "I've been here 22 years," he said, "and I can never remember Goldy being punched."