Cereal newbies

1) Not really sure why it's Froot Loops Bloopers. What's wrong with it? Did they mess up in the factory and decide to sell their rejects?
2) Also, why does Toucan Sam have a British accent in this ad?

3) Frozen cereal.
4) Is apparently a thing.
5) With "snow and ice crystal shaped marshmallows."
6) Let it go...

Cereal insanity?

"Snap, Crackle, Pop Culture" is a fun little book that features weird cereal box covers paired with fun comments. Not dissimilar from another pop-culture book you may have heard of, and since our book also loves some cereal, I had to check it out. I'm jealous that his photos were in color--we had to settle for B&W.

The author, Ed Daly, also has a fun Twitter feed.  Sample tweets: "I've seen more dashboard temperature pictures today on Facebook than there are cars in America," and "My levels of optimism and dilusion reach their apex whenever I try to reheat leftover French Fries from a restaurant."

Not-so-Lucky Charms

The brilliant Matt at X-Entertainment has himself a box of 20-year-old holiday-themed Lucky Charms.

He doesn't eat 'em, but the description is hilarious anyway. I love his writeup of the included holiday gift tags:

"All of the gift tags feature Lucky. Sometimes he’s alone, and sometimes he’s with the kids. Sometimes he’s on a train, and sometimes he’s in a wreath, looking quite a bit like a dead deer head mounted on the wall. Whoever found the end of that rainbow gained some seriously impressive salvage rights.

The important thing is, all of the tags include Lucky. All except one. One tag just has the two pointless kids, rocking on a wooden horse. That’s the tag you use when wrapping a present for your least favorite person."

Monster lip balms

Boo Berry and Franken Berry lip balm!

Although I personally think Matt needs to find Count Chocula. He may not like Chocolate Chapstick, but I think it sounds like the best of the lot.

Blue diamonds, and green clovers!

They're always after me Lucky Charms!

Terrifying Halloween costume that makes leprechauns as frightening as mimes.

Choco-goodness!

10 chocolate cereals, from Candy Addict.

I am a Cocoa Pebbles junkie, but the rest of them, especially SMORZ and the Oreo cereal, sound too chocolately even for me.

Trick or treat for breakfast!

Cap'n Crunch now has a Halloween Crunch cereal, and of course, Matt at X-Entertainment found a box.

It has ghosts, green milk, and the Cap'n dressed as a mummy.

Matt describes the green-milk feature thusly: "You see, in Halloween Crunch, you not only receive the standard corn ‘n oat throatbusters, but a special assortment of reddish, ghost-shaped pieces with an action feature. When milk is added, these ghosts piss out a light green dye, which not only makes the ghosts look like melting Gremlins, but also tints your once-white cow juice a rich, creamy green. Appetizing? No. Halloweeny? Absolutely."

Candy Hierarchy

I think we all have our own Candy Hierarchy, as is obvious based on what candies we go for when we are offered a varied bowl.

Looks, I'm as big a caramel fan as anyone, but hell if I'd put Caramellos in the top tier. Kit Kats and Whoppers would probably also rank much higher with me. And whatever happened to Krackel bars? They beat Nestle Crunch for me every time. Hmm, Wikipedia says they don't make the regular-size Krackels anymore, just the minis. And this guy did a very thorough comparison, and decided that Crunch triumphs over Krackel in almost every way. Hmmph.

(Via Kottke, who also has this Great Cereals of All Time link.)

All wrapped up

Branded in the 80s has a fun bit about the introduction of Monster Cereal Yummy Mummy.

I actually cannot remember if I have ever eaten YM or the werewolf one, Fruit Brute, but I know I've had the Big Three -- Count Chocula, BooBerry and FrankenBerry. None of them taste great, in my opinion. CC is about the best, BB has the cutest mascot, and FB is like chewing on insulation flavored with cheap strawberry perfume from Avon.

Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs, take two

Remember this post? I found a YouTube ad for Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs, possibly the worst-named cereal ever (can you think of a worse one? list it in the comments!).

This ad is about the most humorless ad ever, which is odd for a cereal with so much implied humor in the name. Also, you need to turn down your volume, because whoever recorded it got the sound up REALLY LOUD, and sit through a spacey, creepy old McDonald's Hamburglar ad first.

Choco-insanity

Back when I was a big sugary cereal fan, Cookie Crisp was one of the brands I'd buy occasionally.

But I haven't had it in forever, and I certainly didn't know they now have Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp, even though it's been out for a year.

Mr. Breakfast says it's not as good as my all-time chocolate-cereal favorite, Cocoa Pebbles, and who am I to argue with someone named "Mr. Breakfast"?

Cereal killer

We always suspected those breakfast cereal mascots had secret lives, we just didn't know they were so bloody and violent.

This lengthy comic strip is at once ingenious, diabolical, and truly nightmarishly creepy. I always thought Count Chocula had more evil in him than those tasty choco marbits revealed, and now I know for sure. (Via Metafilter.)

Crunchberry Beast

I love this indulgently long post about the Crunchberry Beast, the mascot for Crunch Berries. I think I remember those "State of Confusion" pennants, too.

Don't miss Jeff Sparkman's comment about the unstrategically placed iron-on. Heh.

And don't miss Jeff's link, on his own site, to a great commercial for Mego superhero action figures. Not only do the makers of the commercial not know who the Fantastic Four are, as Jeff points out, the only adjective they can come up with for the Falcon is that he's black, whereas all the female superheroes get described only as "supergals."

Yeah, sorry about that, Mego. The ad designer was kind of in a hurry to lock up and go to lunch, so he kinda skimped on the research for your TV ad, but come on, you obviously didn't care, either, as you let the ad air as is.