Over at X-Entertainment, Matt's readers voted for him to spend $25 at the Dollar Tree, not agreeing with me that the weird Kool-Aid flavor would be the best readers' choice.
The results are as hilarious as always, featuring Noah's Ark figures, something called a slime egg, a weird Spider-Man eraser, and much more.
Best line: "Perhaps the shitty company that made this was trying to present the kind of food-for-thought “What If?” scenario that makes philosophers and Uatu run in circles. What if Noah was completely retarded and embarked on his God-given journey with only these tools? What type of new society could be forged from the fruits of Noah, his wife, one sheep and a four-day supply of carrots?"
Runner-up best line: "I’m confident that I could recreate Trader Vic’s on the strength of Dollar Tree’s luau aisle alone, and being confident makes me feel taller."