For Better or FOR WEIRD

I haven't run a "For Better or For Worse" post in a long time, since I just don't read that strip now since it went to a...what was it again? A hybrid strip? A mix of old strips and new panels introducing those strips? Something like that.

But scroll down in this Comic Curmudgeon post for the completely weird one-panel shot of Elly. I don't even wanna know.

(Update: Ha! It's not Elly, it's Connie, but it looked like a youngish Elly to me!)

Nacho, Nacho Maaaaan

I love this: The Comics Curmudgeon catches John Patterson from "For Better or For Worse" reading a gents' magazine, apparently in full eyeshot of Elly.

Called..."Nacho Man." (Yes, that's probably supposed to be an "M," but come on, tell me it doesn't look like an "N"!)

For NO NO NO

Elect Mike Patterson! No no no! Not even as President of Bad Canadian Novel Writing, which, I guess he already kind of us.

For THE END

I'm sorry that I was out of town when FBOFW finally creaked to its ending, with Anthony and Liz rushing to Grandpa Jim's hospital bed, and then the Sunday strip telling us what happened to everyone.

I'm kinda grossed out by the fact that Anthony and Liz spawned...I bet Francoise became the unloved stepchild after that.

I'm REALLY disgusted by the idea that Mike published four books and then moved into film. Oh yes, the Sheila novel was just begging to be made into a blockbuster. Talent like that cannot be denied.

Deanna began a sewing school? Other than seeing her help Liz with her wedding gown, was any kind of sewing talent or interest ever discussed in the strip before? Well, considering she was a pretty sucky pharmacist based solely on her own birth-control misadventures, it's probably for the best that she's not handling people's medications any more.

And like most other readers, I'm kind of shocked that Lynn Johnston let April move all the way to Calgary when her whole strip's point seemed to be that you should buy your parents' house and marry your grade-school sweetheart.

This parody strip came up with an entirely different (and funny!) ending for the strip.

For WORSE

I have not been intentionally ignoring the "For Better or For Worse" wedding -- have just been too busy to blog it.

But also, yuck. They better not kill off Grandpa Jim just to coincide with the vows or something (to be the "for worse" to the wedding's "for better.")

Also, despite my wildest dreams, I guess Constable Wright isn't going to show up and speak now rather than forever hold his peace. (Or THERESE. Wouldn't THAT be a plot-stopper?)

And did you all see this? I don't quite get it, but it looks like Lynn Johnston is going to start the strip over, retelling and "improving" as she goes along. She admits her reasoning is tied in to her husband leaving her...she had planned to be relaxing in retirement with him, but since that's not going to happen, is diving back into her strip. Or something like that.

For HERE COMES THE BRIDE

I've been ignoring the FBOFW wedding, because...bleah, Granthony. (Although it would be awesome if Therese spoke up at the "forever hold your peace" line!).

But I know Liz's gown is supposed to be made from Grandma Marion's, but to me it looks a lot like Deanna's, which was supposedly designed by Romona Keveza?

Maybe Lynn, like me, can only draw one style of fancy dress?

For HILARIOUS

This may be old, but it's still funny. A comic poking fun at FBOFW. Heh.

For TRIVIA

The Comics Curmudgeon has a great "FBOFW" trivia contest.

I remember most of these storylines, but heck if I can answer them correctly.

Don't miss the comments, as readers come up with questions of their own and joke answers and it's just hilarious.

For PREGNANCY SCARE

I can't be the only one who thought for a second that this "For Better or For Worse" strip meant that Liz was knocked up.

Oh, I know, I know, she's far too saintly, but who thinks about needing a babysitter before they're even married?

I guess the babysitter needs could be for Francoise, but she seems to be getting along fine without Step-Grandma Elly stepping in.

Note that Elly does not seem as thrilled to sit for the upcoming Liz-Granthony spawn as she has been for Robin and Merry. Favorite child syndrome, much?

For HERE COMES THE BRIDE

Is that Deanna cutting off the sleeves of Grandma Marion's wedding gown? I don't even recognize her.

Admittedly, the sleeves looked kinda terrible (long and see-through), but cutting them off results in a wedding dress that looks like 99.99% of all available wedding dresses out this year. It cracks me up how the fashion world can only handle one wedding-gown style at a time.

And oof, four, FOUR water puns. And they are all stoooopid. Please, someone just tell her -- in plain English -- not to marry Granthony. I know, I know...but I can dream.

For WHIZZINATOR

Today's lesson from "For Better or For Worse"? Apparently, dogs pee on trees. Were you aware of this little-known fact?

This is both such a complicated and simple lesson that we need twelve panels, yet no words, to properly express it.

Fun FOOBiverse discussion here. Hey! Lawrence! Where ya been?

For BLOOD CARGO?

Apparently Mike Patterson in "FBOFW" has moved on from Canadian pioneer novels to cheesy thrillers with names like "BLOOD CARGO."

Or so we think. The cover is kind of hard to read -- someone at the FOOBiverse thought it was "BLOOD CARBS."

For NICE KNOWING YA

Helicopter pilot Warren returned to "For Better or For Worse," only to bail on Miss Liz and her perfect relationship with Creepy Granthony.

Comics Curmudgeon has an awesome discussion of the plotline here. (Best line: “It sure was nice knowing you!”–an expression almost as deep and tender as “Have a nice day!”)

And ocer at the FOOBiverse, there's an interesting discussion of the tendency, in FOOB, for guys to ask not for a girl's phone number when interested in dating her, but for her address. I never noticed that before! But even Lynn Johnson admits it makes no sense. Except that I can see it being asked by those with stalker tendencies (ahem -- Granthony -- ahem).

And as someone at CC points out, Warren has a waaaaaay too detailed bio for as minor a character as he apparently was written to be. Check out the READ WARREN'S BIO link on this page for the longest, most boring novel since Michael Patterson put pen to paper. What's with the stereotypical Aussie friend?

For WONDER TWIN POWERS

"For Better or For Worse" slips yet another gear with this totally wacked-out strip in which the sheer rosy glow of Liz and Granthony's luuuuuuve blinds Warren for life.

Comics Curmudgeon had a great line: "the sight of Warren recoiling in horror from the second-cheapest ring from Zales (or its Canadian equivalent) as if it were filled with deadly radon gas is so hilariously over the top that Foob, Inc., has to be in on the joke. Right? Right? Right?"

The FOOBiverse called it a "Dracula meets crucifix" moment.

For FATHER OF THE YEAR

Remember that scene in "King of Kong" where Steve Wiebe is trying to set the Donkey Kong record and his kid keeps yelling from offscreen "WIPE MAH BUTT, DADDY!"

Yeah, Michael Patterson is trying to set a record for BAD NOVEL WRITING and also can't be bothered to give his kid a second look. Steve Wiebe, he had an excuse!

For DULLSVILLE

Oh enough already, how boring is the FBOFW storyline about April and her friends (who are still in high school) fussing about their future careers?

I realize Lynn Johnston probably wants to wrap things up in some allegedly satisfying way, but I don't think we need to know what April will be doing in 10 years (receptionist). And we certainly don't need to know what her friends Duncan (who?), Gerald (pumping gas for Gordon) and Becky (methhead) will be doing, although as you can see I have some guesses (Mets tickets).

The FOOBiverse also has a lively discussion of this sleep-inducing "plot."

For WORST PROPOSAL EVER

Oh Granthony, you true romantic.

Oh Liz, you pathetic loser.

I hope Francie makes their married life hell. And that Therese haunts them. And Granthony eventually has an affair and Liz realizes her mistake and...I know, I know, that will never happen, especially in what little time this strip has left, but...

The FOOBiverse cracked me up with their reaction, as usual. BOXCAR!

For BARF

Warning: Possible spoiler alert ahead, as if For Better or For Worse hasn't spoiled itself already.

Oh, Granthony. So sanctimoniously forgiving. Dump him, dump him, dump him.

But we all know she won't, and according to a poster at the Comics Curmudgeon, Friday is going to be a big day in FBOFW land. (Via The FOOBiverse.)

For WARREN

So "For Better or For Worse" has skipped over the hybrid strips for a few days and actually offered up some new content...and no shock, it involves Liz's romance.

Warren, her helicopter pilot man, has flown back into her life. Where is this plotline going? It seems pretty clear that she's meant to end up with Granthony, so why resurrect Warren, except to show that everyone who's ever met Liz loves her forever.

Also, this strip makes me fear that Warren will be painted as a big ol' stalker and Granthony will have to rush in and save his princess once again.

For POTTY TRAINING

Heh, the Comics Curmudgeon had a great FBOFW comment yesterday.

"Amusing as it is to see toddler Elizabeth wandering around with a toilet on her head (all the better to prepare for a life of being crapped on by Anthony! Har har!), I’m even more tickled by Ellie’s opening sentence, which sort of implies that her mother worries that she in fact does not plan to potty-train her daughter, but will rather allow her to go through life urinating and defecating in her pants whenever the mood strikes. “We were going to train Lizzie, mom, but you saw what a jerk Michael turned into after we did it. I swear, it’s too bad Freud isn’t alive; he’d have a field day with what learning to poop in a bowl did to that kid’s personality. We figure a lifetime of changing diapers will be a small price to pay.”"

Also, scroll down for Josh's comment on the Family Circus panel. Truly awesome.