Mimi Smartypants had a couple of great items in her latest post.
I totally know people like this:
"Please do not announce that you are approximately ten minutes pregnant and then try to suck me into a discussion of car seats. Yes, CAR SEATS. FOR A FETUS. There really is no more boring parent-conversation than the “baby stuff” conversation. Get the kid a box to sleep in and a couple of safety/restraint items and SHUT UP ABOUT IT before I kill us both. You may think a murder-suicide is an over-the-top reaction to baby-related consumer mania but I assure you it is not."
But what really cracked me up was this:
"For some reason, when asked at Whole Foods if I want to donate my ten-cent bringing-my-bag refund to the charity of the day, I have taken to responding with a hearty, “Hell no.” I don’t know why. Depending on the cashier, I either get dopey-eyed confusion or behind-the-goatee smirking. To be honest, I am not so much a cheapskate as I am annoyed at the way the “charity of the day” is never specified. There is a sign somewhere around the cash register but you have to hunt for it, and usually it is some kind of pro-animal/anti-hunger thing but one of these days it could be the Aryan Brotherhood and who will have the last laugh then? ME! I will feel all virtuous for having withheld my dimes from white supremacists."