All hail Ebert!

No one, mark my words, NO ONE can write a movie review, especially of a bad movie, like Roger Ebert.

Some gems from his review of "The Crazies":

"I think zombies are defined by behavior and can be "explained" by many handy shortcuts: the supernatural, radiation, a virus, space visitors, secret weapons, a Harvard education and so on. I suppose it would be a "spoiler" if I revealed why the Crazies are on the lurch, but come on, does it matter? What if I revealed they got that way because of, oh, say, eating Pringles? Would that spoil things for you? What difference does it make? All that matters is that they got to be zombies somehow. Before that, they were your friends and neighbors. Then they started in on the damn Pringles."

"Sheriff Dave and Deputy Joe discover the probable origin of this plague, but of course can't get the mayor to declare an emergency, because he learned the mayoring trade from "Jaws."

"What I can say to aspiring young screenwriters is: Movies like this are fairly simple to write. You need zombies. You need heroes. At first there's mystery, and then the horror. You describe lots of Jump/ Noise/Chord situations. When you figure you're up to around 90 minutes, the sun can rise. You'll get an R rating, so throw in a little nudity. Not too much, because if there's a combination that gives me the creeps, it's zombies and nudity."