Sunday, January 08, 2006

Spit it out

You know, I would be happy to live my entire life without ever again seeing a variation of "you owe me a new keyboard" or some other implication that something on the Internet was so funny that someone spit beverages on their computer.

Can't we set up some kind of Web-wide swear jar, where anyone who posts any version of said statement has to ante up $100 to charity? Because ... spit takes were never funny, nor original, not in 18-ought-eight when folks claimed to be spitting Brother Henderson's Fix-Me-Up Home Remedy ("you owe me a new fringed surrey top, Zebediah!") and certainly not now.

Yeah, that wasn't prompted by anything specific, honest, I just had to get it out there.

10 comments:

Monty said...

If you're just objecting to "OMG I almost spit!" then I agree with you. But if you're taking on actual spit takes, I must take umbrage. A well-timed spit take is the epitome of the vaudevillian's art! It --

Ah, never mind.

Alice said...

I once had a friend to an actual spit take in a pub with a pint of beer, over another friend's aunt, and I swear to God, it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

But I totally agree with the fake internet spit take. Not funny or clever.

Anonymous said...

Mmm, the thing is, spit takes are like any other physical comedy -- too often used for easy "wacky" comedy, by performers who don't know what the hell they're doing, and they're the opposite of funny. And the internet "hahaha lol rofl you made me spit out my Diet Coke!!!" needs to die, yes. But a really well performed, unexpected spit take can be wonderfully funny. Alan Arkin in "Big Trouble" does one of the world's great spit takes, and I don't know how the hell Peter Falk kept a straight face in that scene.

Anonymous said...

this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. as in "I just spti tea all over my keyboard" It just irks me.

Anonymous said...

Hmm. This one is related to 'LOL!!1!' or even 'lol', which is not only incredibly lame, but also makes you look stupid. Don't type something, as part of your conversation, that you would not actually say, because, stupid. All idiotic abbreviations like that are stupid. It doesn't take any more energy to actually type the word. If we could get rid of all of those, we'd be a lot closer to getting rid of 'you owe me a new keyboard!!'

Anonymous said...

As someone who spends a lot of time on the Television without Pity boards, I could also do with never seeing the "You owe me a new keyboard." in its various forms.

Anonymous said...

how about "that made me laugh so hard i got the hiccups. and the hiccups were so violent it caused a bowel movement?"

Judi said...

THANK you!!! I thought it was just me. I love you for this. Well, if I hadn't already.

Finding My New Normal said...

Thank you! However, I must tell you about the time I did an actual spit take...all over my college drama professor.

We were at the annual Madrigal dinner and we were right in front. I was enjoying a lovely meal when one of the Madrigals (who happened to be a friend of mine) decided to point and me and politely laugh. Aparently this was just to promote curiosity amongst the crowd. It was for show. I knew this and decided to just go about my eating and drinking and chatting. But it kept going on and on and I could feel myself getting redder and redder. The redder I got, the more they laughed and the more they laughed, the redder I got. I took a big sip of water in order to try to calm down. Just then, a huge case of the giggles hit me and I ended up spitting that big gulp of water out all over my professor. Of course NOW all the madrigals were laughing for real, just having had a front seat for my little show. Talk about embarassing.

Anonymous said...

I also love it when they show great detail in beverage choice. Do I really care that you spit our Diet Dr. Pepper Cherry Vanilla with no caffeine all over your keyboard? No, thank you!