Sept. 11 memories are all around us, and I have to say, even in the midst of sadness, the one thing that always could make me laugh a little bit was the wit of "Mystery Science Theater."
So when I realized that Wikipedia has a page rounding up quotes from nearly every MST3K episode, I was in heaven. I didn't read them all, but I read an embarrassing amount.
Just a few great ones, in case you too need a laugh today:
"C'mon! Try and move faster than the plot!"
"Gentlemen, we can't ALL be the Honey-Nut Cheerios Honey Bee!"
"The eye creatures. Scabbing, inflexible, lethargic, mucus-expelling creatures having no spoken language and no particular powers with which to conquer. They were also unfortunate enough to have evolved with heavy-duty zippers running up their backs."
"Great hotel! Really convenient to the mouth of Hell."
"A crew!? They had a crew!? I do *not* believe they had a crew!"
"Only the good die young… Most of us are morally ambiguous, which explains our random dying patterns."
"So, how many hours have rotary phones added to movies over the years?"
"So, Rowsdower… Is that a stupid name, or…?"
"Yes, Dad?...I mean, Professor-who-is-in-no-way-my-Dad-giving-me-a-part-in-his-movie?"