Monday, August 15, 2005

For CHEATING

Oh, now "FBOFW" gets really good. Or maybe really bad, depending on your viewpoint.

After nearly being raped, Liz gets the generous gift of ... a partial day off! No one mentions calling the cops, or tracking down El Creepo Howard. The best they can offer is a vague promise to "tell Lawrence." Yeah, maybe he'll dock his pay! That'll show him!

But the attack has obviously taken its toll on Liz, as evidenced by the fact that she now has perfectly round eyes like Lucy used to get in very early "Peanuts" strips.

And she makes the assumption that Anthony came to the garden center to buy tools, and tells him not to forget "what you came for."

Which leads to another of Lynn's sterling punchlines. He HASN'T forgotten what he came for! Because he didn't come for no gardening tools, I tell you what! He came for her! For Liz!

Even though he's married and promised his life to another, a surly French-Canadian whom he browbeat into getting pregnant and carrying his child for nine months! Sorry about that 36 hours of labor and the epidural, honey, but Liz, Liz, I came for Liz!

Run away with me darling, and we'll live in peace in Mtigwaki where gardening centers are unknown! Because just as Michael eventually found his childhood girlfriend again (saving her from a car accident, or at least, uh. photographing her car accident), Liz too must be rescued from near-death by the boy she promised her heart to while eating paste and sharing safety scissors back in second grade. (Look out, April, a near-death experience surely awaits you too, before you can find love.)

Francoise, meanwhile, is probably locked in the car.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Anthony has always, always, gotten on my nerves. He still does.
I thought Liz was supposed to end up with a flying dentist from the north.

PJ in Penticton, BC said...

Hilarious, Gael!

On FOOBiverse, a link was posted to a feedback form at FBOFW:

http://tinyurl.com/cfbqz

I wrote, "Your latest series of strips are damaging to young women. You should be portraying Elizabeth (not her father, not her male friend) going to the police and laying assault charges against Howard, instead of having her allow all the men in her life to figuratively pat her on the head while they "handle" it. This is a terrible message to young women. Much better would have been for Liz to use self-defense moves against her attacker, and to insist on bringing in the police. This storyline is shameful."

Jennifer said...

I have no childhood sweetheart. Clearly, I am DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED to a life without love because no guy fell in love with me when I was six years old and the world's ugliest nerd-child.

Oh, wait! The guy I used to go to prom dates with was engaged last I heard! Maybe he'll have married and knocked her up by now, but is ready to come back and save meeeeeeee from a life of singledom! I can't wait to be a stepmom!

Oh, wait. I'm not totally insane. *vomits*

But seriously, ANTHONY HAS JUST REVEALED HIMSELF AS A (married, taken) STALKER and we're supposed to be cheering him on?! Puke-o-rama.

Anonymous said...

I love that you comment about FBoFW and that you linked to the FOOBioverse. I had no idea what I was missing out on.

Thanks!

It is amazing how quickly Liz is able to put the whole "come after me" behind her and laugh at others bad jokes again. What a bad message.

K. said...

Ah, but you forget- April already HAD a near death experience, when she almost DROWNED in the RIVER and Farley had to jump in and save her. Alas, he then laid down and died, KILLED by April's near-drowning. Does this mean she will grow up to be an old maid, still umarried at the ripe old age of 25? Only time will tell.

Talia said...

Maybe Anthony will attack her next, and she's just one of those unfortunate girls like the Marquis de Sade's character Justine who is just constantly followed around by rapists.
Let's face it, the real reason no one is making a big deal of it is they want to keep him around for an even more dramatic attack at some important moment, where the man who comes ot her rescue kills him and then there ends up being a big dramatic (boring) court case while they try to prove he was defending his ex-girlfriend or whatever relationship the man will be.

PJ in NH said...

I think Liz should hunt down that helicopter pilot and fly off to Hawaii or something. Anthony should shave off that silly mustache, tell his wife he's no longer going to be masocist and if she wants the marriage/family to survive, she has to contribute or get out. Liz doesn't need Anthony in her life.